Yay magic!

"There will be no Magic in this house. It is a path to loneliness with people
mocking you behind your back." -Micheal Bluth (Arrested Development)

A while back I promise to write something about my interest in magic, so here is something....

I have always liked magic even though both my parents are muggles. Now before anyone gets the wrong idea, I’m not talking about Harry Potter magic, or summoning demons from the pits of Hades, or even dancing naked with free spirited, unkempt people in a circle of candles. Not that there is anything wrong with any of that…..well maybe the summoning demons part, but to each their own. I’m talking about magic as in tricks and illusions, or the art of entertaining people by fooling them. Unfortunately many people still think of magicians or even those interested in magic as being tossers who like to wear tuxedos and pull rabbits out of hats. Well they're wrong!! We mostly don't wear tuxedos! For the main part though magic these days has come a long way.

Even within magic there are many types of magicians. Here are a few examples….

• The Houdini type of escape artist, who puts themselves in situations that look dangerous or difficult, only to get out of them at the last minute.
• The David Blaine type of street magicians, who performs magic for people on the streets. Usually a ‘money in the hat’ situation, unless you can get a TV special.
• The Copperfield type of stage illusionist, who spends a great deal of money on large elaborate props (and hair styling products) that they perform with in theatres.
• The close-up specialist of which I can’t think of a famous, commonly known name, who performs for more intimate, smaller audiences, perhaps at a casino table or similar setting using cards/coins, or any type of smaller object really.
• Other categories I could describe include, mentalists, children focused magic, parlour/table magic, as well as getting into common specific props, such as coin, card, silk, cigarette, dice, matches, etc, etc.

Personally my interests fall mostly into the close-up category although I also enjoy ‘Bizarre’ magic which is an area that is notoriously difficult to describe, but essentially is good for freaking people out if done well. :-) I don’t do a lot of performing and when I do it’s mostly for friends and family, as it’s a hobby for me and I have a job to earn my money, but it’s something I love.
If I can figure out how to post my own video (and compress it to a viable size to post), I will put up a couple of tricks that I do to demonstrate my skill or lack of it.

Drink Driving

This is a photo of my daughter engaging in some drunk driving. I must have got her Ribena mixed up with my hip flask of Blackberry Shnapps. Anyway she is a mean drunk and put up a real fight when I had to take the keys away from her.


NB. Obviously she is not really drunk and I would never condone the consumption of alchohol by any minor. She's actually stoned.

Random junk about me cause I don't have time to write a coherent post.

• I had an intervention via the radio this morning. Robert Palmer came on and told me that I might as well face it, I was addicted to love. I thought, who the hell does he think he is to try and tell me what I'm addicted to!

• When I was dating my wife, I sent her an sms that read, "If I could bottle my charm and wit, I'd be a rich man." (I'm often modest like that) She actually showed her mum the message which was kind of embarrassing, and annoyingly her mum later advised her not to marry me! (not solely based on that sms though!)

• When I was in primary school I had a crush on the tallest girl at school. When my friends asked me if there were any girls that I liked, I said her name and they laughed (possibly cause I am not very tall). To cover up, I pretended I was joking, which they believed. I've always felt kind of guilty about that and wondered what might have been if I'd had the guts at the time to follow up on that crush.

• So I was standing at the traffic lights today after just having pressed the button. About 30 seconds later this woman comes up from behind me and presses the button again. What the hell! Did she think I was an idiot who just stood at the edge of a road for my health? Obviously I was waiting for the pedestrian lights to go green and so does she think that pressing the button again would make the lights change faster? Naturally I pushed her into oncoming traffic.

• There are many things I can't understand, but one of them is telemarketers who continue to try and talk, or win you over, even after you tell them that you are about to hang up. Often you hear them continue to chat, up till the second you put the phone down. What possesses them to think that phrases like, 'I'm busy', or 'I'm not in the slightest bit interested', or 'Go to hell', are indications that you want them to 'try' and win you over.

• One of my most embarrassing ‘life moments’ was when I was a teenager and was in my family room wearing my pajamas (and no they didn’t have a Spiderman pattern on them!). My dad was standing in front of me and for some stupid reason I decided to do a side kick. The unfortunate result of me kicking my leg out to the side was that my….wang fell out of the hole in the front of the pajama bottoms. Needless to say that I don’t make a habit of flailing my legs about when I’m freeballing in loose pants these days.

Survivor clone

As many of you may know, there is to be an Australian Celebrity version of Survivor coming soon to a TV near you - At least if you live in Australia. Why they are going down this tired and lame path I have no idea. I am a big fan of the original Survivor and have watched every season. Some years ago, some ‘genius’ decided not to air the US Survivor season 4 – Marquesas, but instead to copy the basic show format and make it a lot crappier with Aussie contestants and host. I was later able to see the Marquesas season and it was one of the best in the whole show as it introduced Boston Rob to the audience. Now they are once again hijacking the US format but using C-D grade Aussie celebs. Hopefully someone will die and make it interesting. Thankfully they aren’t sacrificing another US season for it, but I can predict that it will likely be as successful as ‘Yasmin’s Getting Married’. Why do TV people constantly have to take successful shows and locally adapt them, often taking the spirit of the original out of the formula and ending up with a cheap copy? Are we so desperate to hang onto reality TV?

Blond Moment

I rarely do stupid things, but the other night I had a real blonde moment. But firstly some history. I work on a technical support helpdesk and I usually answer the phone by saying something like, " [business name] helpdesk, Javatari speaking." Then after they say hi and tell me who they are, I often say, "How can I help you." So now that you know that I can tell the annecdote. It was late in the day and I was pretty tired, but I had to call the helpdesk of another business that we had previously logged a work order with. So I called and waited on hold for a bit and began to daydream which was a big mistake cause when the lady on the other answered I began by saying, "Hi this is Javatari from the helpdesk, I mean helpdesk. How can I help you, err, I mean I was calling to find out about a work order we placed." By this stage the woman on the other end of the line was pissing herself laughing at the idiot who couldn't work out basic telephone protocol for when you are the caller. The annoying thing was that I was supposed to be calling to find out why they weren't acting faster on a job, and starting out by sounding like a chump isn't the best way to demonstrate your authority.

Uni blues

I started my second semester uni subject a couple of weeks ago and it's the last subject of the third degree I actually intend to complete. After this (as long as I pass) I have sworn off formal study for at least 10 years. Ever since I left high school (93) I have been involved in some sort of tertiary study. I can safely say that after all these years of cramming my brain full of uni level information, I don't think I'm much smarter. If anything my mind is less....um, good at thinky stuff. I still hate assignments, I still despise exams, I think most lecturers are one dimensional bores and I have paid thousands and thousands of dollars to find this out. When I ask myself why I put myself though all those missed lectures or drawing pictures of naked women while pretending to take notes at the lectures I did attend, I struggle for a good answer. Ultimately I reckon that for the most part it beats working...well apart for the not getting paid bit. When you do enter the workforce employers look at a good degree as though it is some sort of holy grail, but many of the people I know who have decent degrees are not necessarily the best workers. Anyone with a lot of cash, a dash of intelligence and who's willing to put in a semi-decent effort can get just about any type of degree, but does that make them good at a certain job??? I'm not bashing education as a whole, but most of what I've learnt at uni I could have sat down with a few text books and taught myself for considerably less cost. Of course, at the end of that I wouldn't have had a piece of paper from a fine tertiary institution.