When Barry Dawson goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Barry Dawsoned.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Barry Dawson.
Barry Dawson counted to infinity - twice.
Barry Dawson invented every colour. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When Barry Dawson does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Barry Dawson hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Barry Dawson gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Barry Dawson can slam a revolving door.
Barry Dawson once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Barry Dawson's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Barry Dawson.
Barry Dawson can speak Braille.
Barry Dawson's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Superman owns a pair of Barry Dawson pyjamas.
Barry Dawson owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Barry Dawson sleeps with a night light. Not because Barry Dawson is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Barry Dawson.
Barry Dawson doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Once a cobra bit Barry Dawson's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Barry Dawson divides by zero.
Barry Dawson is always on top during sex because Barry Dawson never f***s up.
When Barry Dawson exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Barry Dawson doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
Barry Dawson sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled drinking ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Barry kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Barry Dawson can kill two stones with one bird.
Barry Dawson once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil.
Barry Dawson once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression "*****ting bricks" wasn't just a figure of speech.
The only time Barry Dawson was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
posted by Javatari at 5:41 PM
7 Comments:
Oh I'm in love. I want him BAD!
Steph, I should have lied and said it was a post about the real me!
Oh man, someone gave me that calender and I got rid of it. I thought he was someone from out of CHIPS or something :(
Cazzie, there's a calender with this guy! I have to track down a copy of it. ;-)
I think he looks more like a 70's porn star.
OMG, that IS what I said when it was given to me, PORN STAR 4 SURE!!!
Yes, all these images are from the said calendar. I will look about for it, but I think one of my kids might have drawn all over it. However, my mum has one and she has hung it on her toilet door..no less, LOL.
BTW, I am currently downloading video footage of the FA18 and the F111 from the Airshow yesterday. It is taking me FOREVER. But, my next post, after this Ned Kelly one, is about the Avalon Airshow. For your father in law to see :)
Cazzie, I don't think my father in-law knows what the internet is, let alone a blog, but I'll let him know.
I love it - this stuff always makes me laugh (there was a Chuck Norris version circulating on email for years, but this is more topical/amusing because it's a current ad and is a fictitious person). Sorry, of course it's not. BARRY DAWSON LIVES!
PS - I've answered your Muppet Question on my blog.
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