Oral Adventure

I went to the dentist the other day and it actually wasn’t too bad. Of course, it was no ‘sex with Angelina Jolie’, but as far as having someone rape your mouth with sharp metal implements it could have been much worse.

After sitting in the waiting room for only about 10-15 minutes, the cute dental hygienist approached me with what looked like a menu. She informed me that I had a choice of tv or music while I was having my teeth cleaned! 'About time I started getting something back from the dental experience', I thought. With my tv show chosen, a short time later I was in the chair and found a flat screen tv in front of me, as well as one on the roof for when the chair was reclined. Thanks to my not really thinking ahead, the episode of the program I’d chosen had the words, ‘pube’, ‘tits’ and ‘testicles’ mentioned within the first few minutes, as well a featuring a somewhat PG rated sex scene a bit later. I wouldn’t have normally batted an eyelid, but I couldn’t help wondering if the cute hygienist who was examining my mouth thought I was some kind of deviant, for choosing this show. At the end of the exam she commented on my gums and how well I’d been treating them. ‘She wants me’, I thought, while trying to remember if I had ever actually done anything to consciously enhance my gums. I was also curious if she complimented everyone who didn’t have a gingivitis riddled mouth, but I didn’t ask. While we waited for the actual dentist, I queried her as to whether she had seen anything to be concerned about. She worried me a bit by saying evasively that she had mostly been inspecting my gums (what WAS her obsession with gums?).

When the dentist arrived and had a look, he asked her what she had been concerned about when she came to look for him (I knew she was lying!) and he started poking around at the back of my mouth. After more prodding, the dentist let me out of the chair. He then informed me that the thing they were conferring about was a small dark spot on one of my teeth that was likely decay…..however it was not very big and he was happy to let me decide what to do. Option 1 – fill it now? Option 2 – wait 6 months and see if it gets any worse? Then the hygienist chimes in and says that she and I had discussed that the next visit would be in a year. The dentist said that would be ok too! I was a bit stunned and asked if a year would really be fine before the small hole was checked and he told me he wouldn’t consider it reckless. Naturally I said, ‘Screw getting it filled in now if I can leave it and not shell out over a hundred bucks plus the pain of getting it filled’….. or words to that effect. Any dentist who tells me that I can put off dental work for another year, is ok in my books. Then off I went to the local fair to buy some fairy floss and jaw breakers.